i care (warning: may be triggering)

i wish i could save you from your life.
you're a thousand miles away
and i wish i could hold you now
to stop you from thinking unsafe thoughts.
i can feel your heart hurting,
your heartstrings turning and tearing
and i wish i could help you.
please don't drown in your sorrow,
because i know you will want to give up,
but please don't.
i wish i could be there to throw you a life saver
to save you from all your misery.
but i can't.
i know you're sitting in your backyard right now,
taking a sip of the black coffee you always love,
staring into the sky and thinking of a better life.
thinking of how much you miss a certain someone.
thinking of how much beautiful and better everything
and everyone else is compared to you.
thinking of how much better your life would be
if you could just leave everything behind
and go somewhere far away.
i should probably let you know
that i'm doing the same.
i'm sitting in my backyard,
sipping on the bitterly black coffee you got me addicted to,
staring at the frightening blue sky and thinking of a better life.
i'm thinking of how much i miss a certain someone (it's you).
i'm thinking of how beautiful and better everything is because of you.
i'm thinking of how terrible and horrid life would be if you just packed your bags
and went somewhere far away and unknown.
i do admit, i think the same thoughts as you.
i always am missing someone and wishing i could be by their side.
i always think about how everything has a greater sense of purpose and i'm just here.
i always think about packing up and leaving without a trace, and no one would even notice.
but then, i remember something important (i hope you remember this too).
there's always someone out there that cares about you.
i can hear you saying "that's not true, no one cares about me" right through your computer screen.
but it is true, someone cares about you.
it could be anyone really.
a family member, or a complete stranger.
it could be the shy guy watching you from across the room.
or the girl with the raven hair that sits on the bus two seats over from you.
but if you think no one cares about you, just know that i care.
i care about you.
read that previous sentence over and over and over until you believe it.
it's more than true.
you could be a 16 year old who's tempted to go tonight
or a 45 year old who isn't willing to let anyone help them.
no matter who you are, i do care.
i love you and i care so much.
but don't always rely on others to save you.
Sometimes, you have to be the one to save yourself.

as a certain person said,
"everything will be okay in the end. if it's not okay, it isn't the end."

a.n

8/17/14

A/N: With depression and other mental illnesses coming into light recently, I felt the need to put this out there. For anyone out there that's battling something that they feel like that they can't overcome, just remember that someone loves you and is willing to help you through it. The most important thing to remember is to love yourself first and always put yourself first. I know that sounds selfish, but your happiness is the most important thing to being the best that you can be.

Being happy yourself is the key to make everything happy, so be strong for yourself and others :)