Decisions

Have you ever wanted something,
But you could never have it?
You would do anything to get it,
No matter what the cost.
But at the same time,
You would never do it.

You're scared of the risks,
You're scared of the results.
What if it doesn't turn out
The way you want it to?
You're scared of what could
Happen when you have it.
Illegal or legal, you're still scared.
Scared of judgement.
Scared of jealousy.
Scared of hate.
But if you had that thing,
It would make you so happy that you wouldn't care.

You finally get what you want
And you're on Cloud 9.
You're happy for a while,
But then it all sinks in.
You finally care about the judgement.
The feeling of someone not liking you
Because you have that one thing.
You'd think the simple solution
Is to just let it go.
But it's too hard to let go
Of what you already have in your clutch.
You've grown too attached,
You just can't let it go.

You start to wonder
What would you do without it?
You then shake the thought of of your head
Because you can't bear to think
Of a life where you didn't have it.
But there's that small little thought
That says you've survived up to now without it.
If you choose to let it go,
Then you wouldn't have any judgement to live with.
But then your one source of true happiness is gone.

You can't pick both,
It's impossible in a world like this.
You're forced to choose one.

You start thinking a little deeper.
If you truly loved the thing you had,
You would be completely content,
Not caring what other people thought about it.

So now it's time to think:
Should you throw it away and let it go,
Or should you keep it
And face every negative thing that comes with it?


11/09/2013

A/N: This is to everyone out there facing judgement over things that people around them deem as "harmful" and "sick" in their eyes. As you can tell, I didn't decide to end the poem saying what you would do because you shouldn't let other people decide what to do with your life. Sure, they can guide you, but never let them control you. Besides, it's interesting to think about the choices that people have and if they'll take them.

Little Girl

Little Girl was walking through a toy store,
Dawdling up and down the aisles,
Not quite sure what she was looking for.
Little Girl looked up and her pure eyes lit up.

There it was,
The most amazing thing Little Girl has ever seen,
A very handsome teddy bear.
At least in Little Girl's innocent mind, he was very good-looking.

Little Girl knew she had to have it.
She was shaking the shelf,
Hoping it would magically fall into her arms.
Oh, how Little Girl was so naive!

Little Girl managed to get her mother to buy it for her.
When Little Girl finally had the teddy bear,
She was completely over the moon.
If only she knew what was to happen.

a.n

(This will have a part 2, eventually)

Firework

I consider myself a firework,
Strange as it can be.
I'm not the prettiest thing you'll ever see
Or the most brilliant.

I consider myself a firework,
Because every once in a while
I'm able to shine for all to see.
Maybe you're like that too.

I consider myself a firework,
Because I'm most alive at night
There's no rest for me when night falls.
Maybe you're like that too.

Tonight's one of those nights
Where I'll see myself there,
Bursting radiant colors into the night sky.
Maybe you'll see yourself too.

a.n

Confessions

Although I know you never will read this, just know I mean every word.

You don't know how much I miss you.
I don't usually say things like this, but it's true.
I miss the way where we could just talk
Without anything going awry.

I miss the way where we would always joke around
Without any worries or regrets.
I miss the way we were there for each other
Always together through thick and thin.

They said blood was thicker than water,
I guess our blood wasn't thick enough.
I'm not sure what else to say
Because my mind's just numb.

I guess what I'm trying to say
Is that I'll always regret what I said and did
To make you feel this way.
I truly am sorry.

But what's done is done,
I can't try to mend what we had.
All I can do is just weep
And wish you a great life without me.

Forbidden City

The City is just so beautiful.
The way it bustles during the day
And lights up at night.
It just makes me feel so alive.

The buildings captivate me,
So unique, I wouldn't find them anywhere else.
The melodic tones are so enchanting,
Not even the most powerful incantation can break the spell.

I've had my tastes of The City.
It was never enough.
I just wanted to experience more and more,
But it was just so impossible.

The City is just so rare and recherche
That only the finest of finest can live in it.
A place so breathtaking has no place for me in it.
It never has and never will.

7/3/2014

Gone

nightmares have come true,
this day has come
can barely fathom the thought,
then again,
never really understood how i got here.

never truly cared,
never took the time
to understand my hardships.
you moved on,
so should i.

clean the answering machine,
just so i don't accidentally remember,
since you've done the same.
throw away things,
only you and I care about,
since you've done the same.
forget about you completely,
because you meant everything to me,
since you've done the same.

i'll admit,
this won't be easy.
but it's what I have to do,
since you've done the same.

a.n

7/2/2014

Smooth Whiskey

just one more sip of smooth whiskey
to wash away the pain,
the spirit allows me to be happy
even if it's only for a moment,
just one more sip of smooth whiskey

to fill the void of being alone,
the inamorato floods into my mouth
letting me feel less lonely once more.
just one more sip of smooth whiskey

i murmur one last time.
for the coup de grace sip

has brought love to me for eternity.

a.n.

7/2/2014